can i go back to Vegas now?

So Vegas. I know it's hard to believe that I would like a city that is also known as "Sin City," but let me tell you. I want to go back now. I want to go and parade around the strip and drink all day and night and be fabulous. However, I don't want to live there because, no offense to anyone who lives there, but I don't own enough basketball jerseys. I swear everyone I met from Vegas was wearing a basketball jersey. It was interesting. I wish my trip had been longer, and I wish my camera hadn't decided to give up on life half way through St Patty's day.

St Patty's Day, ps, is one of my top favorite days of the year - and I'm pretty sure this was the best one.. yet.

I don't have a vry long time to write, so instead of telling a whole long story, I'll just give you some highlights as to why I love Vegas.

• Vegas. Because We Can.
• You can walk around with alcohol no matter where you are.
• You can leave a bar and not have a bouncer yelling at you to throw away your beer before leaving.
• They have 3 foot long drinks.
• You can jump onto a construction site to make the manager take a picture with you.

• You can get construction workers to show their booobies.. even if after they do it, you immediately regret telling them to.

I'll show you mine if you show me yours. Only no I won't.

• Bouncers believe you when you lie and say you paid the $20 cover but then ripped off the bracelet because you were bored and give you a new one, thus saving you $20.
• You won't get kicked out of a bar when you pull a shot of Jameson from the bottle the bartender lent you to take a St Patty's Day picture with.
• You can rip endless amounts of Irish Car Bombs with your waitress.

If you go to Vegas and to NY NY, do not challenge Karen
in a car bomb chugging contest. You will lose. No matter how
many times you play. Trust me. I played a lot.

• You can do inappropriate things in public with people you barely know...

• You can do inappropriate things in public with your best friends....
• You can talk to anyone and not be misconstrued as a crazy.
• You can start drinking at 9 in the morning.
• There are lots of things to take pictures in front of!

This is an ad for Jose Cuervo. Well played, Jose. Well played.

• You can wear your sunglasses at night, with your pj's in your hotel casino because you're drunk and leaving tomorrow and still get hit on.
• You can learn new accents and phrases (Wicked Pissa, for instance, means around the same thing as "a lot" according to Boston)
• There are drunk old people.
• 2 words: Tuxedo. T-Shirt.

i youtubed for an hour and forgot my title name

We all have dreams. Personally, I have lots of them. I dream that someday, someone will find my drunkenness as hilarious as my friends do and will decide to pay me for it. I dream that someday, someone will follow me around with a video camera so that I can remember everything I did that weekend (for example, I was informed that this past weekend, I ran up to my friend, pushed him over the arm chair of the couch, slapped his ass and then nuzzled on his neck to make him feel better about it. And by friend, I mean someone I've had maybe 15 minutes of conversation with since I've met him). I also dream of things like becoming a princess, a millionaire, and having a hot air balloon at my personal discretion.

In the past 2 days, I have slept a grand total of 2 hours and 15 minutes, give or take a few seconds.. so I've had a bit of time laying in my bed thinking of my dreams and ambitions. Which last night, was to simply fall asleep.

This has taken far too long to write so I'll just come out and say it because I'm bored listening to me type this

As of Sunday evening, I will be in........... (drum roll please)

this picture is creepy. but so are some of the people in vegas so it's fitting

Yes. Spring break officially starts at 4:55 for me today, although if we're honest, I've been in Vegas mentally since last Friday.

I just called it pre-gaming for Spring Break. We leave Sunday from Nashville, get in at 6 and will most likely already be drunk from the plane.

Best part of this entire experience?

Me. Only I'll be not old, not ugly and not a man. So really, just the pitcher. And I'd
probably steal the hat if I saw him.

I realized I hadn't shared this while trying to mentally go through my closet and decide which green outfit I have that will allow for the largest amount of beer consumption.

I hope they have green beer. Or green vodka. Or any sort of green drink that's not an amaretto sour or non-alcoholic.

Either way, I'd like to share an excerpt from a little book called I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell by Tucker Max as I feel it relates to what my trip will most likely be, only a girl version. It's either that, or I'm delirious from sleep deprivation and will look back at this and attempt to delete it. Probably the second. Either way..

We got so carried away with the gambling and the attention, the next time I took notice of my watch, it was 9am Friday morning, and I was feeling a bit tipsy. I casually asked the cocktail waitress how many beers I've had:

"I don't know sweetie. I work the 2am to 10am shift, and you were rolling along when I got here. I'd guess you've had at least 20 or 25 since I've been working."

drinking like a frat boy while at your sorority philanthropy event is the epitomy of class

i've always prided myself on my ability to binge drink at inappropriate times. ok, maybe it's not pride as much as it is amusement, but either way - it makes me giggle and this past weekend was no exception.

my sorority hosts a paintball tournament to raise money for our philanthropy, and sunday was our 2nd annual tournament. because it is much more exciting to go to.. well, any of our events when drunk, my friend.. we'll call her gerta rouse got me out of bed by offering beer and boys. so i begrudgingly put clothes on and began the beer drinking at 11 am. always a good choice.

on the ride to the tournament, we had our ride stop at a gas station to buy party cups and some beer. we were going to buy 40's, but given the economic crisis of present times, we decided a case would be better - we could keep some to drink next weekend. we were like a toby keith song and doing our part for the red white and blue.

cut to a couple hours later and we were headed for our 3rd refill in our cups. our cups held three beers each.

well, gerta rouse is still active in the chapter and i am alumnae.. which basically means i am immune to punishment while she is not. at around 3, the president and head of standards approached gerta rouse and told her she had to leave. she told them she would not, but would sit in the parking lot and wait for our guy friends who were playing and giving us a ride home. they agreed.

rookies.

i needed a refill anyway, so i decided to go out to the car with her. i got the keys, grabbed the first guy i saw that i knew, and headed to the car to shotgun a beer with the kicked out gerta rouse. classy. it probably wasn't 10 minutes later that we were out of beer. luckily, my sorority is not smart and put the event within walking distance of a gas station. and more beer. take an 18 pack that is following a 24 pack, a camera 2 party cups and 2 drunk girls and mix it together and you have a party.

i would periodically go back to the parking lot to check on her.. like when i needed more beer, but for the most part, i basked in the fact that i could not be yelled at for drinking and continued to cheer on my friends.

after the tournament was over, we accompanied the boys to their house where we joined 4 guys who were, amazingly, as drunk as us. the 6 of us decided moving the couch to the front porch made for much more comfortable heckling at passerbyers than regular chairs, so we brought it out.

the next couple hours get a little hazy, but at around 8, gerta rouse and i decide to head to chili's for some much needed food. of course, neither of us were driving so i told the first guy i saw to drive us, and either he was immediately smitten with me or he saw that we would probably be arrested if we attempted to walk across campus to the chili's.. either way, we made it to chili's where the manager came over after our first round of 2 beers (they come that way) and told us we could not have any more beer. "bahhh you can't have any more beers," is generally the appropriate response in that situation. which translated out of drunk speech to english means "i don't care. it's still light out. i'm wasted. and i'm wearing sunglasses in chili's. thanks for not kicking me out."

after that, i decided i should go home as i had a french midterm in the morning.

i got an 85.

amazing.

#57 of 1001

Y'ALL, I GOT A 97 ON MY STATISTICS EXAM!!!! i am beyonddddd excited.


57. Get an A on both a French and a Statistics test

this post is about nothing

i was gonna write something intellegent or mildly entertaining, but my brain has been fried this week from excess amounts of addherol, no sleep and most importantly - a severe lack of alcohol. i can't decide if the shakes are from the first too or the last one.

anyway, it's mardi gras weekend and i plan on wearing the sparkly purple, gold and green hat i stole from an unsuspecting boy at the bar last night. no one can resist my charm. also, no one can get their hat back from you when you've run out of the bar, down the street and hid behind a newspaper box until your friends find you clutching the hat like it was the golden ticket (although now i wish it were the golden ticket as a trip to wonka factory sounds delcious).

i hope i don't see that boy out. actually, i hope that boy doesn't see me out because if we're being honest, i have no idea what he looks like. whooooops...

anyway... hope everyone has a good mardi gras weekend! also, first person to see women who look like these ladies win....

spider pig! spider pig! does whatever spider pig does!

GUESS WHAT I GOT, Y'ALL!

A CAT! i'm so freaking excited. his name is Spider Pig (yes, after the simpson's movie) bc when i first saw him, he climbed up the cages in the room he was in.. and then got bored and climbed back down them. face first. as if he were walking. it was the coolest thing i've ever seen... and so i said he climbs like a spider monkey, and then remembered homer's song and thought it was hilarious. thus, spider pig. i call him pig for short. making his blogger debut... here he is :) what do y'all think?

super bowl sunday = fattest day of the year

this weekend was the super bowl. a weekend that is known for belligerency, fatty foods and the occasional football watching. not wanting to be left out, i decided i would partake in all of the above - but would be smart about it, as i had a french test on monday at 9. therefore, instead of taking the whole weekend out to booze, i would only go out friday, study study study saturday and not partake in drinking like a fish on sunday night to ensure i could study a little more after the game and be well rested for monday morning.

which was all find and dandy in theory.

the problem with most of my plans is that they are simply that - theories.

i went out friday, drank my body weight in beer, went to jimmy john's with my friend to feast on the goodness that is a turkey sandwich at 3 am, took the t home (aka - the drunk bus) and passed out in my bed.

i then woke up on saturday, at 2:45, and tried to clear my mind of the haze that was around surrounding it, beckoning me to the beer fridge, and sat at my friend's house to study. i facebooked for 4 hours. at 3, my best guy friend texted and called me incessantly in a feeble attempt to have me join him for drunk food, since he had gone to the bar. because i had not partaken in the gloriousness that is saturday night on a college campus, drunk food was not my idea of a good time.

sunday, however, is a completely different story.

i went to one of the fraternity houses to watch the super bowl in the living room that was complete with surround sound, projector, huge screen and stadium style couch seating. gloriousness. oh, did i mention the huge beer fridge that was stocked to the max and mine for the taking? oh, well that was there too. i, being responsible and studious, decided to only have a few beers (nobody wants to be the debbie downer). cut to the end of the super bowl and i'm having a conversation with a random boy when WHAM! it hits me - i'm drunk.

at this point, i decide there are 2 ways we can go about this. i can stop drinking, hope to sober up a little bit and study, or i can succumb to it and continue on my merry, drunken way and be fully hydrated. deciding i am simply too thirsty still to stop in my tracks, i decide drinking more beer, half a bag of franzia and taking a shot are some of the greatest ideas i've had that day.

which may or may not be debatable.

when we left, i did what i am most ashamed of.

i ate not one, but two drunk meals.

two drunk meals i would not go anywhere near if i were sober. mcdonald's breakfast mcgriddles and krystal's cheeseburgers. now, i don't know if you've ever had either of these, but they are not exactly a part of the food pyramid, a balanced meal, or actually good at all. so why, you may ask, would i succumb to not one, but two meals of extrodinary calories? because i was not the one buying them. oh, and because i'm a moron.

needless to say, i woke up this morning late and drunk. oh, and feeling like i may vomit mcdonalds and krystal's all over my french exam. which i'm almost certain i failed.

awesomeeeee.

in other news, #18 of my 101 things is close to becoming a reality. i am 90% sure i am going to run the Music City 1/2 Marathon in Nashville, TN!! Yayy!!