drinking like a frat boy while at your sorority philanthropy event is the epitomy of class

i've always prided myself on my ability to binge drink at inappropriate times. ok, maybe it's not pride as much as it is amusement, but either way - it makes me giggle and this past weekend was no exception.

my sorority hosts a paintball tournament to raise money for our philanthropy, and sunday was our 2nd annual tournament. because it is much more exciting to go to.. well, any of our events when drunk, my friend.. we'll call her gerta rouse got me out of bed by offering beer and boys. so i begrudgingly put clothes on and began the beer drinking at 11 am. always a good choice.

on the ride to the tournament, we had our ride stop at a gas station to buy party cups and some beer. we were going to buy 40's, but given the economic crisis of present times, we decided a case would be better - we could keep some to drink next weekend. we were like a toby keith song and doing our part for the red white and blue.

cut to a couple hours later and we were headed for our 3rd refill in our cups. our cups held three beers each.

well, gerta rouse is still active in the chapter and i am alumnae.. which basically means i am immune to punishment while she is not. at around 3, the president and head of standards approached gerta rouse and told her she had to leave. she told them she would not, but would sit in the parking lot and wait for our guy friends who were playing and giving us a ride home. they agreed.

rookies.

i needed a refill anyway, so i decided to go out to the car with her. i got the keys, grabbed the first guy i saw that i knew, and headed to the car to shotgun a beer with the kicked out gerta rouse. classy. it probably wasn't 10 minutes later that we were out of beer. luckily, my sorority is not smart and put the event within walking distance of a gas station. and more beer. take an 18 pack that is following a 24 pack, a camera 2 party cups and 2 drunk girls and mix it together and you have a party.

i would periodically go back to the parking lot to check on her.. like when i needed more beer, but for the most part, i basked in the fact that i could not be yelled at for drinking and continued to cheer on my friends.

after the tournament was over, we accompanied the boys to their house where we joined 4 guys who were, amazingly, as drunk as us. the 6 of us decided moving the couch to the front porch made for much more comfortable heckling at passerbyers than regular chairs, so we brought it out.

the next couple hours get a little hazy, but at around 8, gerta rouse and i decide to head to chili's for some much needed food. of course, neither of us were driving so i told the first guy i saw to drive us, and either he was immediately smitten with me or he saw that we would probably be arrested if we attempted to walk across campus to the chili's.. either way, we made it to chili's where the manager came over after our first round of 2 beers (they come that way) and told us we could not have any more beer. "bahhh you can't have any more beers," is generally the appropriate response in that situation. which translated out of drunk speech to english means "i don't care. it's still light out. i'm wasted. and i'm wearing sunglasses in chili's. thanks for not kicking me out."

after that, i decided i should go home as i had a french midterm in the morning.

i got an 85.

amazing.

you know what makes me laugh?

...emo kids.

i think a fun thing to do on a saturday afternoon after spending the previous night binge drinking for a friend's birthday, seeing your favorite 80's cover band, and making out with your best friend (whoops...) is to go to the movies. if your movie theatre happens to be located in the mall, it will make for even better amusement.

our movie theatre just so happens to be placed smack dab in the middle of the mall, so it works out well when your movie is sold out. instead of having to go home or find a different theatre, you can simply trudge on over to the ruby tuesday's and sit at the bar until the next showing.

while sitting at ruby's, we made big plans for our day. we would get party cups of beer and walk around hot topic, as we felt the best way to venture into the murky depths that is hot topic is to do it drunkenly. once we left ruby's and got closer to the h.t., our ambitions faltered and the executive decision was made to just take our party cups and go to the movie. well, either that or by the time we started walking, we forgot about the h.t. completely.

don't you fret though - those h.t. shoppers were littered throughout the entrance of the movies, and since the theatre frowns upon outside food and drinks, we had to sit outside to finish our beer and oogle the emo-ness that is knoxville's high schools.

by the end of the day, i learned a few things...
- emo kids are funny
- no matter how skinny or not skinny you are, to be emo you must wear skin tight jeans
- beer always makes things funnier
- asking a kid "hey.. little person! how old are you?" warrants the answer "12. hey big person! how old are YOU?"
- trying to make friends with emo kids by asking what time mom's picking them up in the mini van warrants looks that make you first fear for your life
- wearing a t-shirt that has your sorority name on it means you don't have to try to explain to the ticket ripper guy that you're not emo, but the party cups will make you do it anyway, even after he tells you he didn't think you were emo in the first place
- vampires can't drink beer
- kicking open doors and screaming "I'M A VAMPIRE!" does not make people think you are a vampire.

can you guess what movie i saw?