you heard it here first

i think it's important to keep up with, and be ahead of fashions. i mean, you don't want to be at a party wearing a jean jacket and have a random boy come up to you and tell you jean jackets are way too 90's to be wearing to a party. not that that's happened to me... i mean.. um...

moving on.

so anyway, saturday, i went to my friend's apartment because after i got off work, i wanted to booze and figured i should call the person i had informal formal with the night before, as the price of the drinks were split between us and i didn't want to cut her out.

once i got to her apartment carrying an evan william's container that looked like mouthwash and a half case of natty light, she informed me a girl we used to know, but had to divorce because she was too much of a ho was coming over and bringing wine for them to do an english project.

the project was in a class about lord of the rings and they were going to take pictures to send to argum or something like that. i would probably know a little more of it had i cared. besides, i was reading the chelsea handler q&a in playboy. no time for finding out the reason they were dressed up like crazy people.

so they decided, in order to be more lord of the rings-ish, they needed to put some eye bling on. what is eye bling? it's those rhinestone things that people thought were really cool in like, 1999.. they look a little like this...


totally classy.

so, they adhere their rhinestones and go to take pictures, leaving me in the apartment with a full beer. i decided i wanted to make my own little design on my hand, because it was subtle and yet fabulous.

an hour and 6 beers later, i decided to leave said hand bling on for the rest of the evening.

awesomeeeeee plan.

so we rampage around knoxville for a little, and end up at one of the bars on the strip. i have all of no money on my bank account because i decided beer and krystal's was the way to spend my money the night before, and so i did what all classy people do - snuck natty light cans into the bar and drank it little by little out of shot glasses.

class.

so after a little bit, we're standing semi-near the door and in walks a group of girls who are wearing eye bling. and they are wearing it like they are proud - with extra glitter around it for the added pop.

i decide the best move i can make in this situation is to turn to her and say you!?! and point to her eye bling and then, me!!!! and show her my hand bling. she was mighty excited.

her: "OH MY GOD. DON'T YOU LOVE THE BLING!"

me: "TOTALLY! it's like a disco ball, but better!"

her: "i'm like.. OBSESSED with glitter. anything glitter and you send it over here!"

me: "i can tell. i mean, i like your eye shadow. OOH. i think you'll appreciate this. have you ever heard of a little publication called vogue?"

her: "totally. i loveee it."

me: "oh my god isn't it great? well. my mom is the editor and chief there (lie) and she and i were talking today about bling and she told me they're doing an expose in the feb '09 magazine all about how hand bling is the new bracelet kinda like when pink was the new black."

her: "shut up."

me: "i'm totally serious. you should totally tell your friends because obv by feb 09, it's gonna be too late because it'll be like.. everywhere."

her: "totally. i will. thanks!"

i then told her to have a great night and definitely tell her friends, then turned around to my friends while still listening to her to see if she would fill her friends in on this great fashion forwardness, or keep it to herself so she could act like her mom was the editor in chief at Vogue and she'd come up with it.

in true bling loving form, she turned to her friends and said "oh my god, yall. hand bling? new bracelet. we totally have to do it."

yes.

i swear, if i see hand bling popping up all over the country, i will pee myself from laughter.