her way of having an accident was a little less embarrassing than my dear friend eb.
that saturday, the day of the game, we woke up at english's apartment late. it was 10 am. we were supposed to wake up to start drinking at 9. the game started at 12:30, which meant we only had 2 1/2 hours to change, get drunk and make it to the game. quite the time crunch.
luckily, jg and i are quite the pros at funneling beers. we ran back to the apartment where our clothes were, changed and went to meet english and company at their fraternity house to begin the drinking. jg and i managed to funnel 10 beers in less than an hour and made new friends to sit with at the game. eb was somewhere around, but we were mad at her about the night before so we stayed away from her for the most part.
while at the game, our new friends provided us with whiskey they had wrapped around their legs to get into the stadium (it's a dry stadium), so we managed to not lose our buzz. once tennessee beat arkansas, we decided we should go change for the night ahead, but once we saw the traffic, decided we'd stay at the frat house to drink while waiting for the traffic to clear up.
we had mimosa's, beer, wine and whiskey delivered to us while we sat on the couch and chatted up our newer friends. two hours later, we all took a field trip to my friend's apartment to have a much needed dance party and to admire the fish, as evidence here...
fish are beautiful when you've been drinking for hours and it's not even dark outside yet.after deciding that the horrible outfits we'd spent the day drinking in were definitely fraternity band party appropriate, we all piled in the car and headed back to the house. while there, jg and i made friends with some cute senior girls and taught them how to shotgun beers. if you're thinking it's strange that they'd made it that long in college and never shotgunned a beer, you'd be thinking the same thing i was when explaining it. then i was informed they were seniors... in high school.
ahhh, the youth of america.
later, we found our friend's blanket and pillow and decided they were necessary to complete our weekend of fun and memories, as pictures didn't seem to be enough. so we threw them out his window, expecting them to be found around the side of the house for us to pick up later and no one would know any better. out the window they went, with us quickly following down the stairs to pick up our new gifts. out the front door, and straight into our pillow/blanket. turns out, his window was directly above the front door. not as sneaky as we hoped, but it seemed no one even noticed them, as people were just walking around them, not questioning a thing.
quick run to the car and victory was ours.
a few hours later, some other stuff happened, and we realized we'd gone all night and hadn't used the restroom. upon this realization, we had to find one stat.
thanks to fraternities, all bathrooms have urinals. i, like most girls, opted for the toilet. jg decided a urinal would be a fun thing to do. i'm not entirely sure what the correct way of using a urinal is when you don't have the uh.. equipment necessary to do so, but her approach is not the right way, although i'm impressed she didn't fall and break her head open.
she assessed her options, and put one leg on the urinal to the right and one leg on the urinal to the left and climbed on up, pants around her ankles, across the middle urinal. she then proceeded to relieve herself - some of which got into the urinal, but for the most part, all over her legs and pants. genius.
she then took off her pants and began to wash them off in the sink. and then, she realized her pants were soaking wet and she was in a fraternity house, with nothing but cowboy boots, a sweatshirt and a thong on her body. notttt her greatest plan.
needless to say, i went and got her boxers to finish the evening off in. we make our parents proud.
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3 comments:
Ah high school kids. Such impressionable young minds.Glad to see your blog is slowly building back up.
- Kendall
Sounds like your friend needed one of those paper funnel type arrangements.
As for shotgunning beer, I have personally always preferred the strawpeedo method with bottled beer.
odd duck - it makes me laugh because i had no idea they were high school kids. and later in the night, they asked for our name so they could request us as friends on facebook (bc when you're in high school, isn't that just the best thing to do everrrr?!) and jg began writing her name on their leg, and then started writing her phone number as well - stopped half way through and was like "wait - what am i supposed to be doing?!" perhaps something you have to see, but it was quite amusing at the time.
ben - to be honest, i don't think a paper funnel thing would have helped at all. there was A LOT of pee on her legs/pants. i think the only thing that would have done the trick is not actually deciding that peeing in a urinal is a good thing to do. ludacris, i know. but still.
as far as the strawpeedo method, i've never heard of it. i assume it's chugging the beer through the straw, to which i've attempted but never perfected. perhaps i'll post on that one at another time. :)
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