so for anyone who was here post-deletion, i have an update on condom-boy. for those of you who weren't here before that, here's the long and the short of it....
two weeks ago, i went out with one of my roommates and we went to a friend of her's house to pre-game, which is where i met condom-boy (cb for short)... we went out to a bar around here, and my roommate left to go to her bf's house, leaving me with cb who wouldn't stop talking about the lord of the rings, even after i told him 1. didn't care. 2. was a harry potter fan and 3. didn't like the lord of the rings (i've never actually seen them, but come on - i just want to drink my beer). but i tolerated him and his annoying topics for discussion because he bought me beer, shots and jimmy john's. and i love me some jimmy john's. so, i made him walk me home because i was definitely not walking home alone at 2:30 in the morning. when we got to my apartment, he didn't leave and i just wanted to go to bed so i didn't really care. i woke up the next morning to him asking me to drive him home. i decided i guessed i could get out of bed and change my clothes since he'd bought me things the night before. we get downstairs, and my car is blocked in by my roommates. "well that sucks. have fun with that," i so kindly told him, and left him to walk the 20+ blocks alone in the cold, drizzly rain. i'm nice like that.
i was woken up a few hours later by my roommate who left me to make sure i was alive and well. as she was leaving, she turned back around, and said "well at least y'all were safe." "pardon?" i asked. and she walked back towards my bed, bent down and picked up a condom. out of the packaging, mind you. now, to the untrained eye, one would think it was used. however, if you looked at it, you would see - it was not. it was unwrapped and not in a pretty little ring like it is from the packaging.. but it was not used. wtf. i certainly did not even look at his... parts, let alone need to use a condom.
so two days ago, i got a text from him. "hey it's joe (which i was happy to find out, as the name cb is not exactly flattering) how was your fall break?" we chit-chatted for a bit, and i assumed it was his being cordial. i mean, he did leave mystery condom on my floor. however, it seems mr joe is smitten with my drunken requests for more beer, jimmy john's and to stop talking. he wanted to come over that night to watch the prestige, wanted to hang out last night, and wants to hang out tonight.
now, don't get me wrong - i am in knoxville to simply work (at the job i don't have yet) and get drunk. so it's not like my schedule is filling up insanely fast. however, cb, joe, if you will? stop making it known how busy you are not. you are in a fraternity, you go to school, i think you even have a job. you should not be so open to hanging out. play this smooth or something, because at this point - i have zero interest in hanging out with you, and it will be awkward next time i see you because i'm having to tip-toe around it at the moment.
what happened to guys playing crazy games?
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2 comments:
I don't even know how to begin explaining how STRANGE condom boy must be.
Since he's a LOTR freak, you shuold so confront him about the unused but unraveled condom. You should say, "How's about that condom you left in my floor mista?!Hmm? What say you?!"
The what say you bit is extremely funny if you've seen or read LOTR.
he is SO unbelievably strange. he's officially texted me at least 6 times requesting a movie night and called to tell me we need to hang out. ummm.. sir, get the message?
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