dude, where's my car

so i woke up thursday to my head screaming at me due to the phone that was next to me in bed, ringing. i rolled over to make the horribleness stop, when i saw it was a friend of mine who rarely calls me before 8 pm. fearing something may be wrong, i answered it.

him: hey there, ptpb... i'm on my way to class and my friend and i were reminiscing about things past, and we were wondering.. how's your car doing today?

my immediate reaction was, oh god. did i do something stupid and leave my car at his house last night?! did i dream going to a bar last night, and never made it out with him and my other friends? so i did what any normal person would do..

me: haha, of course it is!
him: (long awkward pause) .... do you remember hitting the pole outside my house last night?
me: hahha oh gosh, of course

lies. i did not.

so as soon as i got off the phone, i put shoes on and walked downstairs expecting to see my car smashed so smithereens. upon opening the door, i saw no signs of my car. hmm. so i walked the stairs to my room with floods of memories coming back to me at once.

i went to my friend's house to drink with them for her birthday. when they left to go to our basketball game, i came home to change. upon being dressed, i decided waiting another hour and a half to drink was a terrible idea, so i called one of my guy friends and drove to his house to drink and watch the game with him and 2 other guys.

did i mention i'd only eaten 5 crackers with cheese and a few m&m's all day? yeah, that's probably something to mention.

so, after taking 7 shots of whiskey, drinking between 3 and 8 beers, kicking ass at table hockey on my iphone, we hear from the birthday girl and crew. we all decide the bars are a good time and go.

then my memory gets a bit hazy.

some things happened, i walked into the bar, saw my friends and said hi. then some other things happened and i decided to just leave the bar without telling anyone. did i have a beer at the bar? i don't know. did i talk to people a lot? hmm. was i there for only 30 seconds? it seems like it.

so i left for class a little later with many questions going through my mind. highest on the list - where were my keys, and, more importantly, my car.

cut to 5 pm, i was walking home from class and decided to take a loop around the block to see if i had parked in someone's yard a block away. no sign of my car. while taking the last turn towards my house, our campus shuttle drove by me. i giggled to myself at it, without being sure why. and then i remembered the seat covers inside, which is something i generally would never remember so vividly from not having been in something in a little over a year. and then, like a flood of memories, i realized i had walked out of the bar and there, like a sign from god, there was the shuttle. beckoning me to get in and ride home.

so the question still remained - where did i park my car?

i called the 2 guys who were with me and between the 3 of us, we had no idea where my car could possibly be. how that is possible, i don't know for sure. perhaps it was the not eating, or the thought that i should drink like a frat guy. one can never be sure. but i am sure that i am a moron.