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hurting your chin and your pride in one night.. not recommended

I don't have much to say in this post, as most of my evening is what we like to call.. hazy, but I do know that I woke up with blood on my pillow and a throbbing chin. Oh, and a few questions.

We decided it was the last Monday before classes start (which is today, ps), so we should host a wine night at my house. I live in the apartment upstairs, and 3 of my friends live downstairs: 1 girl and 2 guys.

I should preface that wine is the one alcohol that seems to make any evening into Blackout City, and on this particular evening, I chose to forget that fact and drink the ever-classy Franzia by the SOLO cup full. And by SOLO cup, I mean, filled to the very brim, drinking as quickly as my friend with the tiny wine glass.

Awesomeeee choice.

At around 11 pm, the guy who lives downstairs tried to duck in downstairs from work, but I managed to stop him with a loud HEYYYYYYYYY NEIGHBORRRRR!!! I have never met this man before.

I managed to make friends with him (I think mainly because I was shoving wine down his throat), and at some point, I decided going over to our next door neighbor's house to make friends with them was a great plan.

I was definitely blackout at this point, as this entire trip is beyond my memory, but from what I've been told, I walked up to the one cute boy who lives in the house and, as an opener, used the line "You! You're old like me!" to which he responded with a confused look, and I said "Yeah.. Ya know, since you've already graduated and are back in school for your Masters!"

I've never in my life talked to him, and everything I know I was told by my girl housemate.

Smooth.

At some point later in the evening (after I made the intelligent decision to take myself out of the alcohol game), I arrived back downstairs with rubbing alcohol in one hand and a paper towel clutched to my chin with the other hand. Once I found my "responsible" housemate, I walked straight up to him and screamed

I AM BLEEDING PROFUSELY!!!!!

I then made him put the alcohol on my cut for me, as I was "too scared."

Questions that remain: what did I fall on? How did enough lasagna for 3 people end up all over my kitchen floor? And the ever important, why do I enjoy embarrassing myself in front of cute boys?

Needless to say, I hid out in my living room trying to nurture my chin and pride back to good health. The pride's about over it, but the chin is all kinds of bruised and cut.

3 am Texts are the Devil

So. First, I would like to thank everyone who responded to my last post.. I LOVE y'alls comments on a regular basis, and this one definitely helped.

That being said, I (naturally) didn't see them until I hung out with him next, which was the day we moved my bed. Once we were finished moving it, we headed to a bar because I said I would buy him a beer for helping me. I ended up getting a pitcher because it's cheaper to buy a cheaper to buy a pitcher than it is 2 pint glasses (how that makes sense I have no idea). Afterwards, he suggested going to get the beer at his apartment and drink that. I couldn't think of a reason why I couldn't since I had already said I didn't have plans for the day, so I went over.

As soon as we got there, he headed to the bathroom and I went to sit on the couch. He opened two beers and brought them over and we started watching some movie. After a few of them, he came over and put his head on my lap and sort of cuddled with my legs. I was a little stand-offish, as the question of a girlfriend was still whirling through my head, but I wasn't going to get up and be awkward across the room.

After awhile, I had to use the restroom. Once I got in there, there wasn't any toilet paper, so I decided to look under the cabinet to get some more. I opened the first and it was full of cleaning supplies. I opened the second and the first thing I saw was a girl's bikini. The second thing I saw was a tubberware drawer full of girl things. And by girl things, I mean Mydol, tampons and the types of things you only leave at a boy's house if you've been dating for a very long time, or that boy is in actuality a girl.

I quickly grabbed the toilet paper and sat back trying to figure out how to explain this other than he was a hermaphrodite or practically married.

Before I could get too far in my thinking, I noticed that through his clear shower curtain was an entire white shower except for an area that was completely black. I dropped my mental thought processes into the secret life of Boy and turned my thoughts to the prayer that his shower couldn't possibly be that dirty. I mean, a whole black area is just a little out of control.

Naturally, I HAD to look. Turns out, it was not quite dirt as much as a girl's bra and entire outfit.

Awesome.

I knew I couldn't go out and demand an answer, as 1. I haven't known him for very long and 2. I would look like a crazy person who was going through his things. And while, yes, I was, it stemmed from the need for something necessary and then the idea that he was just insanely dirty. Either way, ew.

I sat there for as long as I thought not completely strange while texting people furiously to try to find a way out. Just when he asked if I was going to stay the night, I told him I might have to go pick up my friend, so I wasn't sure yet.

As soon as I received my next text message, I said I definitely had to go get her, as her car was broken down way out west. He told me I should come back afterwards and stay with him. I said maybe, but ran out of the apartment as fast as my feet would carry me.

I didn't hear from him for almost a week until he texted me last Friday night to see if I was going out. I told him I wasn't, but ended up going out anyway. I think he saw me walking down the street though because he texted me, said I looked beautiful and asked where I was going. I ignored his text, but apparently around 3 am I decided texting him back was a great idea. (Which, I'm gonna go ahead and say any text to anyone at 3 am is usually the opposite of a great idea..)

"So I hear you have a girlfriend. That's awesomeeeee"

Smooth. Needless to say, I haven't heard anything from him. And to be honest, I'm more than ok with it.

As for everything else, I'm spending the week in Florida visiting my mom and then once I get back to Knoxville, I'm moving into my first apartment alone! I have never lived alone, and I have definitely never decorated anything but my own bedroom. I am excitedddddd!

Thanks again for all y'alls comments! :)

Riddle Me This...

So.. I've been kinda half-assed talking to a Boy for a couple months now, and we finally hung out last week after him repeatedly asking to. Mainly, I thought he was someone else than he was and I didn't want to hang out with the person I thought he was, but when I realized who he actually is, I was more apt to it. I hope that makes sense...

Anyway, I went to his apartment and we watched a couple movies. Ok, so maybe we kissed. I had a really good time with him though, much more than I had originally expected. We were drinking a little (a few beers), and when I went to use the restroom, I noticed a girl's lipsticked kiss on the mirror. A little red flag went up, but I thought maybe he forgot it was there. I wasn't going to say something, but it was bothering me so I jokingly asked if he often dresses up in girl's garb complete with lipstick and kisses the mirror. He looked confused at first, laughed, and was said it was only for special occasions. When the subject came up again, he finally said "It was my mom.." I nodded in understanding, but my mind was reeling with thoughts of trying to figure out whose mom would kiss their son's mirror. I know my mom wouldn't.. I feel that's a little personal for moms to do, but maybe that's just my family.. At one point, he was going to show me a picture online, and when he pulled out his laptop, he did that "I'm trying to be stealth because there might be something I don't want you to see on my laptop" thing where you turn it away from the other person.. Only he was sitting next to a mirror so his attempt was in vain. I didn't want to be too nosey, but couldn't help but sneak a peek. His background picture was a girl and he... And I'm pretty sure she was licking him? I dunno.. random.

At the end of the night, he asked when he would see me again to which I replied I wasn't sure. I left with my mind reeling. I felt like there was a girlfriend in the picture, but I didn't want to be crazy and just jump to conclusions. Still, there's this nagging little voice in my head.

The next day, I texted him to ask him a question and he didn't text me back at all.

2 days after we hung out, he texted me back and apologized, saying he had been really busy with school. I said I understood, but couldn't help but think that sending a text message takes a matter of seconds.

He texted me like 4 or 5 times that day asking what I was doing, and then we decided he would help me move my bed from my house into where I'm storing all my things for the summer. As I was leaving to meet him however, it started down pouring so we decided moving my bed would have to wait for another day. He still wanted to hang out, so I told him he could come over to my apartment, as I was definitely not going to drive in the storm.

Once the storm was over, he came over, 12 pack in hand. He picked out a movie to watch, and we settled in to watch it. He laid in my lap during most of it, and once it was over, we laid and talked for a little while on my couch. He recieved a text message while we were laying there, and he did the turn your phone away from the person so they don't see what's on my phone thing again like he had with the computer. I don't generally care what's going on on someone else's phone, so that effort made me feel a little weird.. Like this boy that doesn't really have any reason to be hiding anything is hiding something.

I had made plans to go to wine night with a few friends of mine, so I told him I needed to get dressed for it. He said it was his friend's last night in town and they were probably going to wine night as well.

By the time he arrived to wine night, I had already left. Once we headed to the 3rd bar of the night, we headed straight towards the bar. While I was waiting for my drink, I got a tap on the shoulder. I turned around and it was him. I said hi and hugged him. I was a little drunk by this time, and have had thoughts of a possible girlfriend, so I was a little distant at first. He kept trying to get me to make out with him, but I told him I'm not a fan of PDA. I gave him a few kisses here and there, but they were fast because I really hate kissing in public if I can help it (aka: if I'm not blackout, it's not happening).

We were all leaving to go to another bar, and he said he was going home as he had class the next day. I knew it wasn't until 6 at night, so I told him to just come for a little bit. He agreed, but didn't stay for more than 5 minutes.

The next morning, I woke up and realized I had lost my phone somewhere in Knoxville by the end of the night (thanks a lot alcohol). By the time I got a charger for my extra phone (thank god I kept my old phone), I texted him. I said..

"Hey dunno if you texted me at all.. def lost my phone somehow last night hahaha.. you def should've stayed.. we sang i'm on a boat and it was possibly better than the original version"

No text back.

I woke up this morning to him saying "sorry, I was asleep."

I sent it at 9 pm.

So, I don't know if I'm being paranoid, but I've never had the feeling that a guy had a girlfriend. I'm not saying I want to be in a relationship, or even that it has to be completely exclusive, but I don't want to be the other girl and I don't want to have another girl looming in the back of my head, or her lipstick on his mirror.

So what do y'all think? Am I being crazy, or does it seem justified?

Recaps of Life are Always a Good Time

I would just like to say THANK GOD summer classes are over. I am so over studying and going to the same 2 classes everyday. Good news though: I got 100% and 98% on my final exams! I'm freaking stoked.

So, to celebrate, we decided to do everything we could to destroy some of the brain cells that had become so enlarged from my geniusness. Beer. The sweet, sweet nectar of life.

Anyway, just a few things to bring you up to speed on my life in the past month...

• I spent the 4th of July in Chattanooga at my friend's lake house with her entire family and her parent's friends. We proceeded to get belligerent and sing roughly 14 songs on karaoke. I do not have a good voice.
• I saw a girl at the pool literally wearing underwear. At 2 in the afternoon. She thought she looked goooood. She did not.
• I renamed a shot AMERICA!!! It must be asked for while saluting. And yes, it's red white and blue. The name before I was drunk and trying to get the whole bar to chant U-S-A? Undercurrent. Worstttt name ever.
• I made friends with a man who was in a blue wifebeater in a bar because I thought it was amusing and very strange. I then realized his tattoos were horrible drawn. Turns out, he was in a maximum security prison for quite some time due to murdering someone. SO glad I talked to him........
• Said murderer was also doing a complete upper body workout in the bar. Complete with pull-ups on the rafters, dips and push ups. He would then yell at the end of it across the bar in a completely unrecognizable language.
• Aforementioned murderer ripped his shirt off at the end of the night and gave it to me as "a souvenir"
• I sang I'm On A Boat karaoke at one of our bars and at the end of it, we were received to a standing ovation and high fives. I felt like a real star while running through the crowd high fiving random strangers.

Also, I must say I officially don't understand boys. The ones I'm nice to turn out to be creepy stalkers. The ones I'm very not nice to (aka: repeatedly asking a boy who was dressed in all white when the annual White Party is while calling him P. Diddy and throwing my roommates cat on him repeatedly) seem to think I'm awesome and would like to stalk me. Really, I guess I don't understand boys who stalk. And why the boys who stalk aren't the boys I would like to be a little more stalkerish. Ok, maybe not stalkerish as much as the perfect mix of stalker/normal human being. If that exists. Jesus I think I destroyed all my brain cells.

On that note, I can not stop laughing at this commercial. Literally out loud every time I see it. Well played, Taco Bell.

baaahahaha i need to go to sleep.

Emo Kids + Fake IDs = Good Times or Too Much Crying for One World?

Ahh, the youth of America. Such a strange group of people. I don't mean to look down on the troubled lives of these clearly heartbroken children whose parents didn't love them enough.*

::cough cough::

i wonder if he got that clip from Claire's...

That being said, I can understand why they would crave the goodness that is alcohol. These are trying times my friend, and who am I to tell the youth of America not to drink. I mean, if they drank, maybe they wouldn't look like they were about to stone me to death every time I walked past a Hot Topic.

I've always thought that if a high schooler wants to drink, then go ahead. God knows I drank in high school. That is, until I received a phone call from my step-mom.

"Hey.. I was just thinking: maybe next time you go in town, you could go to the DMV and get a copy of your license for your sister. It's close enough to looking like her. Not that I'm condoning her drinking, but it would be nice for her to have."

...

Few things: my sister is 16. She just got her license a month ago. She looks NOTHING like me. She's the worst driver I've ever seen.

Did I mention she's 16?

7 years younger than me.

Yeah... I don't think that's gonna work so much in either of our favors.

Change the name to match hers, and this is about what it would look like

What're y'all's thoughts? Should I yield to the alcohol gods and bestow this privilege on the unsuspecting town of Ohio that she lives in, or should I make her suffer as I suffered and pray that someone else could get us all the beer our little livers could handle?

In my experience, not having a fake ID was a much cheaper option in the longer run for myself, as I never had to pay for the gloriousness that is beer.

* I'm allowed to make fun of emo kids, as my sister, who comes from a family that walked straight out of a Vineyard Vines catalog is convinced she is as emo as it comes